Sometimes the strongest among us smile though hidden personal pain. We are not immortal or idols. Please do not see us as such. We stand tall in the face of challenge. In silence we shed tears of frustration that moisten the stale bread of our enemies bones . This bread is our substance as we gladly welcome the day when good and evil meet again.
I have done my share of soul searching. Probably because I was lost for so long. I came from a background that had thrust me center stage in the role of self sufficiency and hyper vigilance. I grew up in total chaos and was determined that my future would not be like my past.
As I become old enough to become responsible for my own decisions and directions. Just being aware of what NOT to do was not enough as I soon found out through many trial and errors that seemed to be popping up. Trial and errors that almost seemed to have a pattern to them. Some of them the same but just clothed differently.
Slowly my landscape started looking very familiar. I become frightened that I was cursed to live in a cycle of different degrees of dysfunction from the outside world to the “inside” world.
I started to become bitter, angry and resentful to others who I felt had it “easy” or were “blessed” with the basics I felt cheated out of.
Since I was always looking at my life from a state of scarcity. I finally looked in the toolbox one more time to see what I did have that I may have overlooked.
It was from this point my life changed. I did have some talents, they just weren’t like everybody else’s talents. As it should be.
I became obsessed with human behavior. I needed to find out what it took to succeed and what not to do so I may avoid the road to dysfunction taken by early family members.
I wanted a happy successful life . I wanted to embrace all there was in the Mind Sciences. I studied traditional Psychotherapy methods. I followed, digested and suckled from the current crop of spiritual teachers and teachings. I calmly tried to absorb the teachings of Christianity, Mysticism, the Zen and tranquil. I pleasantly discovered various platforms based on sound advice. I stumbled on the Far and the Out offering of fairy dust.
I become confused, disappointed and frustrated. I almost gave up until I stumbled on a few that were standing on their own testimonies. Not others tales and fables and remedies so far out that the people who need them the most would have to take a giant leap of faith.
I respect self made people who came from and conquered Hard Times. The people who have shaped me the most are the ones who stood up to their own demons and have taken on someone else’s because the victim cannot defend themselves.
- You will hear me quote real life Warriors more than you will 30,000 year old ones from Atlantis.
- I will never claim to be the descendant of an Alien or inter dimensional being.
- I don’t channel anyone important. (But I have been known to do some pretty funny impersonations – lol)
- I didn’t grow up with spiritual teachers or was I born with “special gifts”. I have no pedigree.
What I do have is the ability, maturity, perseverance and the insight to indentify patterns and outcomes. My energy field is full of stamina to overcome my obstacles. I am also a good teacher and communicator. Any of those skills can become yours and more.
I have learned and now I am here to teach.
Vivian Worden – The Spartan Survival Guide